Snip-Snip!

So, you may remember me talking about my trip to Vegas for the National Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament ...(if not, you can read about how this went down-here).

Well, I like to use scissors a lot. Therefore, my friends and I all use the motto "Snip, Snip Bitches" when referencing the game.

That motto was taken a bit too literally the other day.

It was Friday, and I was getting ready to go out for a friend's birthday. After I got out of the shower, I got my trusty scissors out to do a little bit of "trim finishing touches" down there.

Being the klutz that I am, somehow I accidentally snipped a very important part. I did not actually snip anything off (thank god) but OUCH!!!!!!! I start whimpering, then grabbed a tissue and held onto my crotch.

A tiny bit of blood, but nothing major. Just some pain. All too similar to a paper cut.

Finally, I got dressed, but every 10 seconds would yell out, "Owwwwie, owwie, owwie!!!" What can I do? You can't put just anything down there.
So...what do I do?
I call good ole' mom up.
"Mom, I had a little accident."
"What's wrong?"
"Well, I was doing some personal hygiene, trimming, when I cut a sensitive spot down there."
(Mom, not understanding what I mean, forces me to elaborate.)
"I snipped my clit, mom! It hurts!!!"

(pause)

"Well, ummm...let me think about this one..." (followed by chuckling)

First, she went to Google
"Awww man, a bunch of porn shit came up," she says.
I begin laughing, and said, "Mom, did you actually type in clit instead of clitoris?"
"Oh, yeah, lemme try that!"
hahahahaha...still no results.
Then she went online to WebMD.
"Okay, you can use Vaseline to ease the pain, and no sex."

Way to ruin my Friday night. You shoulda heard when I told R. He just shook his head in amazement at me, like he most often does.