Tanning + Heroin

Last night I was watching the news when I hear, "Stay tuned to see how teens are becoming addicted to tanning like it's heroin." Okay, so maybe that wasn't the exact quote, BUT there was definitely some correlation being made between tanning beds and being high on heroin.

Apparently, tanning is as addictive as heroin. Teenagers (girls especially) feel the need to tan atleast 5 times a week, or else they get anxious. They get a "high" after tanning, and the same way that anorexics never feel skinny enough, compulsive tanners never feel tan enough, hence their new name, tanorexics.

"Tanorexia is a real addiction, to be taken seriously," I've heard. But, last night while watching the news, I couldn't help but laugh. I also couldn't help but think that people are now just making things up because we've run out of relevant news.

"Let's talk about something different tonight on
our 6:00 segment," they probably say.
"Hmmm, okay, how about diseased thousand
legger insects hiding in your dishwasher? That oughtta freak 'em out."

*Note: I did infact open my dishwasher today to find one of those ugly centipede-y things running rapidly into hiding. I shrieked a little upon seeing it, though I'm sure it wasn't a disease infested monster capable of mutating itself into a big blob...errr...something like that.*

Ohhhh yeah, so about the correlation with the heroin. Who thinks of that? So now, kids can expect to see this on their SAT test:

Pick the set of words that correspond with
eachother best:
(eg. bark:tree)

a) dog:cat
b) lions:tigers:bears (oh my!)
c) couch:tv
d) TANNING:HEROIN

Riiiiiiight.
And what timing, because yesterday I found out about an old friend who has succumbed to the devils of heroin. He'd been shooting up for 2 months and noooooo one knew. Now he's in rehab.
Maybe I should suggest to him getting the special $29.99 tanning package?