Here's to you...

Listening to: "Tiny Dancer" - Elton John

Last night I went to the viewing. Seeing Matt laying there in the casket was the worst thing ever. At first glance, I couldn't handle it and then after awhile I waited in line to give my condolences to his family and say a few words. Soon as I got to Matt I lost it, there's just something so unnerving about looking at a person who's passed that you care about. But, it's also hard not to look. But, the worst was when my friend Chelsea pointed out the Zippo lighter. The boys called themselves "The McGregor Boys" and that's what was engraved on the Zippo laying in the casket with him. Back when we all used to hang out all the time, I always tried to get them to let me be the McGregor girl. lol.
Afterwards, pretty much everyone went to this sports bar, Jay's. We joked that that's what Matt would've wanted us to do, drink. At one point, the bartender turned off the music and we had a moment of silence and then all of us had our drinks in the air saying, "To Matt Hunt"...and once again, I lost it.
I just kept thinking about how much I miss all of us being together, but then I'd remember why we were all together. A few times throughout the night, I felt like I would turn to look and see Matt. I really felt like he shouldn't be gone, that he should be there with us and we were all together for some other reason.
I think we're all still in a state of disbelief.